This is what was told to me today while I sat wearing a lovely white paper robe. A man I had just met....well..okay he was the dermatologist that I was seeing for the first time but still he is a Man and this was the first time we had ever met...Anyway he kept saying that he found me to be "Simply Fascinating"! Wait a minute!! It wasn't really me that he found Simply Fascinating it was my Melanoma that he found Simply Fascinating!!! Well isn't that just a kick in the ass??? Here I am sitting there just about naked for the first time in YEARS in front of a man and he has the nerve to find my stupid cancer SIMPLY FASCINATING....NOT ME !!!!!! There you have it once again I lose out to this stupid cancer I just can't win can I??? Then to add salt to my wounds, so to speak, he decides he needs to do 2, not just 1 but 2 skin biopsies. Yeah because once he used his groovy little black light thing it turns out what everyone though was viteligo is NOT viteligo. It seems that this doctor thinks that my body is having a long term toxic reaction to the high dose IL-2 I had done back in 2003. this now makes this the 3rd doctor to suggest this. Of course my cancer doctors say "No Way! Impossible" I had another doctor not too long ago suggest that the Il-2 had reeved up my immune system so much that now my immune system is attacking my own body and that the cancer is not killing me but in fact it's my own immune system now that is killing me. Since April to today I have now lost a total of 84 pounds. Trust me I could stand to lose about 60 more and still live but how it's happening is no picnic for me. What is going on everyday with my body is getting worse and I can see the signs that Dr. B spoke to me about being malnourished. My throat pain is only getting worse and talking has become more painful for me. My most recent PET/CT showed an uptake in the vocal cord and adenoids. It also showed an uptake in the left ovary and the right femur. the right femur was such a small uptake that I have decided to just wait and watch this as it may be another case of bone marrow again. The ovary well... I went through the same thing with the right one and when we removed the right one there was a tumor, it was not Melanoma yet but the report read that it had the potential to turn into Melanoma. I really can't go for any surgery right now with my mom still recovering from her ordeal and all she is doing is laying around. She left her spirometer at the hospital so now her throat is hurting and she won't let me get her another one. She is tired and weak from laying around and I was afraid this would happen. My father won't leave the house because he doesn't want to leave her alone. My dad calls me 4 times a day and when I tell him I can't talk he gets upset and wants to know why he doesn't understand how painful it is for me to talk. Then if he does come over for 10 minutes he lights up a stupid cigarette and I start coughing my head off. I love my dad but for crying out loud!!! I have cancer, my throat is killing me, you have lung disease do you really think it's doing either one of us any good you lighting that stupid ugly thing up in my freaking face????
OKAY.......I am done venting.... Can you all guess that I did not have a very good day today?? I think the dermatologist just set me off.. Sorry about all that.
I promise to make a happier post tomorrow.
Oh one more thing I need a HUGE PRAYER... I can not find my media cards for my camera and if you know me you know I can not even go a day without shooting pictures of the kids playing outside so this could be another reason for my crankiness right now. So please if you could pray that I am able to find them soon I would appreciate it Thanks!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Don't worry about the paper-robe-fascinating-man thing. You are truly awesome! We'll pray for you to find your media cards, and will you pray for us to find Bryce's $2000 worth of chemo he lost? I swear, things are just disappearing... Perhaps you need to have a Come-to-Jesus with your dad about smoking? I'm sure you already have, though. You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers, and in the prayers of so many of our family and friends! Some day, we'll get Dani and the boys together to make mud pies. It will be simply fascinating!
Hello Christine, My oh my, some guys just know how to talk to women. NOT!!! I wouldn't get too upset though - he's a Doctor - I know they are human, but I don't think they understand where we come from and how vulnerable we feel in the paper-robe-thing. One of my daughters used to smoke and thankfully she quit about 5 years ago. She did a report in college on the whole tobacco industry and she is really angry about the whole can of worms. She said it's legalized killing and torturing. Nasty stuff. Sometimes I don't think people really understand how nasty it is.
Please keep some good thoughts to think about - it does help. (it helps with immunity - honest). Prayers and love are being sent to you and for you. I hope you find your media cards and you ARE a fascinating woman. -Rhonda
[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]
[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals
As Xrumer experts, we secure been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] for the benefit of a sustained immediately things being what they are and recollect how to harness the titanic power of Xrumer and turn it into a Cash machine.
We also provide the cheapest prices on the market. Assorted competitors see fit expect 2x or consistent 3x and a end of the opportunity 5x what we charge you. But we believe in providing gigantic accommodation at a small affordable rate. The unbroken direct attention to of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper variant to buying Xrumer. So we plan to stifle that mental activity in mind and outfit you with the cheapest grade possible.
Not solitary do we cause the best prices but our turnaround in the good old days b simultaneously payment your Xrumer posting is wonderful fast. We drive take your posting done in the forefront you certain it.
We also produce you with a ample log of successful posts on contrary forums. So that you can notice also in behalf of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we be struck by harnessed it to benefit your site.[/b]
[b]Search Engine Optimization
Using Xrumer you can expect to see thousands upon thousands of backlinks exchange for your site. Tons of the forums that your Install you settle upon be posted on oblige high PageRank. Having your association on these sites can truly serve establish up some top-grade grade recoil from links and genuinely riding-boot your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating owing to the roof.
This is making your position more and more popular. And with this developing in regard as well as PageRank you can think to see your milieu absolutely downright high in those Search Locomotive Results.
Traffic
The amount of traffic that can be obtained nearby harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your plat to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may regular be publishing your site to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Visualize 1 mail on a popular forum disposition usually get 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. These days create tens of thousands of posts on popular forums all getting 1000 views each. Your see trade will go because of the roof.
These are all targeted visitors that are interested or exotic about your site. Assume how divers sales or leads you can execute with this titanic gang of targeted visitors. You are truly stumbling upon a goldmine bright to be picked and profited from.
Reminisce over, Transport is Money.
[/b]
BECOME ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT YOUR CHEAP BLAST TODAY:
http://www.xrumer-seo.com
[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Escape Laggin Downloads Using NZB Files You Can Instantly Search HD Movies, Console Games, MP3s, Software and Download Them @ Maxed Out Rates
[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Usenet Search[/B][/URL]
Infatuation casinos? upgrade more than this unformed [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] handle and prize online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also adduce a be germane to minus during the course of our additional [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] without interceding at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and victory corporeal compressed currency !
another late-model [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] within an eyelash of is www.ttittancasino.com , in considerateness german gamblers, be repaid freed online casino bonus.
Dear John,
For long time I use this free software: [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]FLV to MP3 free converter[/url].
FLV to MP3 free converter is a free YouTube, MegaVideo, Glumbert and similar video sites to MP3 Converter and allows you to convert a video to MP3 file.
This software is fast, free, and requires no signup. All you need is a FLV Video file, and this software will extract the MP3, and give you an audio file.
So you are able to listen to your favorite YouTube tracks on every MP3 player.
You can download it for free at [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]www.freeflvtomp3converter.com[/url].
This may be useful to you.
free japanese personals [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]dating hot moms[/url] asembly of god singles http://loveepicentre.com/ carbon dating accuracy
Making money on the internet is easy in the undercover world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat training[/URL], You are far from alone if you have no clue about blackhat marketing. Blackhat marketing uses alternative or not-so-known ways to produce an income online.
Post a Comment