A Very Sad Day For Myself and others...
I don't even know how to start this entry. Yesterday I had my mom come over in the afternoon to stay with the boys so I could run some errands. It's just easier sometimes to get in and out of the stores by myself than with 2 little boys. Anyway, when I left my house I drove the opposite direction of the way I needed to be going. Okay so no biggie I figured an alternate way to get to AC Moore going the way I was going. I get to AC Moore get what I need, walk out of the store and I am not one to just walk out into the parking lot without stopping to make sure there is not a car coming but this time I did not even stop or look I just walked right out into the parking lot like I was the only person there. Well next I know I here brakes screeching and horn blowing a a lady screaming with a cell phone up to her ear and I thought to myself " maybe I should have brought the boys with me because if they were with me I KNOW I NEVER would have done that just now". So now I get in my car thinking I am just out of sorts because I am not use to being out by myself without kids!?! I start my car and start to drive to Shoprite to pick up stuff for dinner. Everything is going fine until I realize that I am almost at my house and I never stopped at Shoprite. So I turn around, head towards Shoprite got to an intersection that I drive about 30 times a day and I go the wrong way on the ONE WAY ROAD!!!! Now I am thinking WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME!!??????!!!! I get to Shoprite get the items I need, I think, and now I am on my way home. My poor mother has probably thought I have taken off to Atlantic City by now or something close to that. I am driving along and my phone beeped letting me know I got a text message. I knew it could be from only one person..My friend Tammy Brown. I picked up my phone from the seat to see what it said the time was 5:57:54 PM (EST) The message read : "Brycey left us today. Kick Mel's butt for him!"I screamed in my car "GOD NO!!!! NO NO NO GOD NO !!!!" I pulled over and called Tammy when she answered all I could hear was my dearest friend sobbing. There was no "Hello" between us. I immediately said "Tell me you made a mistake typing" "This is a mistake right" Tammy this isn't true right" Please Tammy tell me Bryce didn't pass PLEASE TAMMY PLEASE!!" But all I hear was Tammy say to me " You need to kick it's ass for Bryce. I fell to pieces!!!!! I got to hear the sound of Bryce's voice a few days ago right before the put the feeding tube in him. We spoke briefly on the phone and I am SO grateful for the last few seconds of hearing his voice. As I sit here right now typing and crying I can still hear his voice from that day. He sounded so weak. WE both thanked each other for having known each other. We both praised GOD!!! We both said "I love you my friend".
I have only had the pleasure of having Tammy and Bryce in my life for only a few months but the impact they have both made on me has made it seem and feel like a lifetime. Tammy is like a sister to me and Bryce well he is like....He is like what you hope and pray you own boys grow up and be like!!!
So for my friend Bryce Brown may you rest in peace my friend. May you know how much you are loved, missed and never forgotten.
For my dearest friend Tammy... I love you so very much, I will continue to walk beside you. I promise to continue Bryce's fight and as I get ready to embark on hitting the local high schools and talking to them about tanning and this beast we call Melanoma I will do in honor of your husband and soul mate and my friend Bryce Brown.
1 comment:
Hi Christine, I thought there would be something on your blog about Bryce. You have been such a good friend to both of them. It's easy to love good people. It has been such a tough 2 weeks for me. I have lost 3 wonderful people in my life. It isn't always easy to be here in this world. But I do try to concentrate on the good. Most of the time I can do it. When I heard about Bryce I couldn't do it, I was angry and so horribly sad. I wanted him make it so badly but I knew, I just knew, the last time I talked to him would be the last time. And yet when there was good news about his tumors not growing I was hoping I was wrong, I've never wanted to be so wrong in my life!
I haven't talked to Tammy yet. There are so many people around her that I think I will just wait until everything calms down. That's probably when things will really be hard, when everyone goes back to their normal routine. Sometimes I wonder when Tammy will be able to feel normal and in a routine. This is so gosh darn awful. I know God hears and answers prayers, I know people care and love her, but I know she is hurt so very deeply. I know it will take a long time for whatever 'normal' is - to be in her life again. I started to post on their site after I heard of his passing, after I read it I deleted it. Then I typed it on word so I could just send it to her in a card. I do get carried away sometimes but it took me a long time to put it all together. I don't know if she will want to post it or not - that will be her call -it was very personal to me and I don't know where her boundaries are with that. It's about the last time I visited with Bryce. I'm sure she will share it if she wants to or maybe to a few that are closest to her. She is much more open than I though, so that's why I said it is her call.
Christine, I wish I had answers for you and others that have this difficult road to travel. I know there is always a flip side to everything and I really think cancer and love are opposites. Such a nasty beast and yet look at the good that surrounds it! It is an oxymoron.
I hope you are going to be ok in the next few days (and longer)too. You have been fighting this a long time and I know it can't possibly be easy. Maybe you can do all you do because God is right there next to you holding your hand. Yes it is easy to love good people. Love you - Rhonda
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